D'var Torah on Parashah Korach

Given by Stephen M. Raucher on June 16, 2007 (14 Sivan 5767 )

This Shabbat is very special to many of us, not just because it is Shabbat Rosh Chodesh; not just because it is Shabbat Korach; and not just because it was the last week of school. For my wife, Helen and I, today marks our 45th Wedding Anniversary. For Rabbi Gorin and Pam, today marks their 22nd. For my sister and brother-in-law, tomorrow is their 40th. Is there anyone else in the congregation celebrating an anniversary today or in the coming week

I therefore tried to find a link in the Parasha, the Midrash and in the Talmud that might be applicable to this week of wedding anniversaries, so please bear with me if I get a little "creative."

In the Talmud, Tractate Sotar, R. Samuel ben R. Isaac said: "When Resh Lakish began to expound [the subject of Sotah], he spoke thus: 'They only pair a woman with a man according to his deeds, as it is said, For the scepter of wickedness shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous.'" Rabbah ben Bar Hanah said in the name of R Johanan: "It is as difficult to pair them as was the division of the Red Sea; as it is said: 'God setteth the solitary in families. He bringeth out the prisoners into prosperity.'"

Ladies and Gentlemen, that probably means "Be happy for you got the spouse you deserved."

With that in mind, let us then turn our attention to the first sections of Korach (the part we did not read today as part of our triennial cycle of Torah readings). The opening verse of Chapter 16 (page 860) refers to Korach, Dathan, Abiram, and Onn ben Peleth. [As noted in the footnote, this is the only reference in the Torah to Onn ben Peleth, which evidently fascinated the Midrashic writers.] Noting that nothing occurs in the Torah by accident, they developed some interesting midrashim about the wives of Korach and Onn.

Per the Talmud, Korach's evil and self serving nature led G-d to give him a spouse who would assist in that evil. Korach's wife is therefore said to have been a prime supporter [or perhaps instigator] of Korach's rebelliousness against Moses and Aaron. She chided Korach with questions such as, "Why is Elazar a kohain instead of you? You are the first cousin of Moses. You, like Moses, are a first born, and yet you are to be subservient to Elazar and wash his feet?"

According to the Midrash, she later confronted Korach when he returned from a levitical purification ceremony, with his head ritually shaven. She claimed not to recognize him, and then blamed Moses and Aaron for 'inventing a ceremony designed to make him [Korach] look ridiculous.' It was Korach's wife who thought to dye Korach�s entire garment with the ritual blue dye required for the tzitzis, and to have Korach then ask Moses why it was acceptable to have a garment with only one blue thread in the tzitzis but not acceptable to wear a garment of all blue threads? It was also Korach's wife who posed the question of 'why a room filled with sifrai Torahs still required a mezuzah on the door.'

She mocked Korach and created the envy that boiled into open rebellion. In short, to have a peaceful marriage, the Midrash suggests that Korach used the two most important words of married life 'YES, DEAR' in inciting the revolt.

In contrast, the Midrash discusses the role of Onn ben Peleth's wife. She is credited with convincing her husband ultimately not to follow Korach, and not to join in the active rebellion against Moses. It was she who pleaded with Hashem to spare Onn from sliding into the opening in the earth, and whose prayers were heard. It was she who made Onn apologize to Moses and to rue the day he had sided with Korach for the rest of his life. [Hence his name is associated with "Mourning" until this very day.]

The Gomorrah for Tractate Sotah, however, goes on with a contradictory view of the Bershert, Yiddish for "what is meant to be". It states "But it is not so; for Rab Judah said in the name of Rab: 'Forty days before the creation of a child the heavenly court issues forth and proclaims the daughter of A is for B, the house of C is for D, the field of E is for F, etc.' Thus, every marriage is ordained even before birth, it therefore cannot be dependent upon a person�s conduct." [We in fact studied, in our Kabala class with Rabbi Lipsky, the predetermination within each soul given before birth, and the interaction of a person's worldly deeds (going up to heaven) and the spiritual "mission" given to that soul by Hashem, coming down from the spiritual world.]

This concept of Bershert has fascinated people throughout the ages. How do we find our Bershert? Are there clues we can use? Which matchmaking website can "guarantee" A is for B and more important B is for A as well. What if B doesn't subscribe

By the way, there is a bershert.com and even a FRUMSTER.COM for Orthodox shidachs - Move over, Yenta, technology is here to replace even you.

One interesting example of the attempt to know 'who is my Bershert' comes thru Gematria, not specifically Judaic 'pilpul,' but ancient Greek numerology. Like Hebrew, Greek has a ciphered number system. Alpha is one, Beta is two, etc. Thus, like Hebrew, all Greek words have a numeric value. I'll illustrate using Hebrew as I do not, and I would guess no one else here. speaks Greek.

Most of us know that Chai is 18 [yud (10 )+ chet (8) = 18]. The same math can be done with names. For example David - Dalet,Vuv, Dalet 4 + 6 + 4 = 14. The Greeks were fascinated by this idea, and specifically the idea of adding up the proper divisors of the numerical value of words or names. Again, using Chai (18) as an example, the divisors of 18 are 1,2,3,6 and 9 They add up to 21. Since 21 is more than 18, eighteen is said to be an �Abundant� number. Similarly, 6 has divisors of 1, 2, and 3 These add up to 6, making 6 a �perfect� number. [Finding additional 'perfect numbers' is left as an exercise for after Shabbat, or at least after the meeting of the S�hakol Society] The Greeks then applied this mathematics to pairs of numbers. So, if you and your spouse added the divisors of your names and discovered that yours added to her name and hers added to yours, that was an 'amicable pair' -- i.e. a marriage made by the gods.

I'm sorry to report that I experimented with this Greek numerology against Hebrew names, but could not find any couples I knew who were "amicable pairs". Rabbi, you and Pam, Chanoch David (80) and Penina (195), have divisor sums of 34 and 141, respectively, which don't match. Similarly, Helen and I have divisor sums of 318 and 474 which don't match either. I therefore arrived at the obvious conclusion - since we both have positive long term marriages - Neither of us can be Greek!

Seriously, how do we know who is our beshert? Experience! In the words of those great sages, Teyviah and Golde: "After all these years you ask me if I love you? For all these years I've cooked for you, cried with you, starved with you. For all these years my bed is his - if that's not love - -What Is?"

Googling Bershert, I found a beautiful poem by that title, written by a Susan (no last name given), parts of which I have attempted to make "G rated":

Through the years
your arms held me
as your voice
whispered my name,
taking me in with one
breath of truth beneath
the moonless nights.
In our darkness the
only light filtered thin,
yet it was enough
for us to find
a world where few
remain together
in the end.

These years of knowing
you are tender enough
to penetrate my heart
They hold me in your soul
where I'll exist
for the rest
of my life.

May each of you, as you celebrate your anniversary, come to realize that your spouse, like mine, is your bershert.

Shabbat Shalom.

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